A Prayer

Tuhanku…

Aku berdoa untuk seorang pria yang akan menjadi bagian dari hidupku,
Seseorang yang mencintaimu lebih dari segala sesuatu,
Seorang pria yang akan meletakkanku pada posisi kedua di hatinya setelah Engkau,
Seorang pria yang hidup bukan untuk dirinya sendiri tetapi untukMu.

Wajah tampan dan daya tarik fisik tidaklah penting, yang penting adalah sebuah hati yang sungguh mencintai dan dekat dengan Engkau.
Engkau berusaha menjadikan sifat-sifat Mu ada pada dirinya,
dan ia haruslah mengetahui bagi siapa dan untuk apa dia hidup sehingga hidupnya tidaklah sia-sia.

Seseorang yang memiliki hati yang bijak tidak hanya otak yang cerdas.
Seorang pria yang tidak hanya mencintaiku tapi juga menghormatiku.
Seorang pria yang tidak hanya memujaku tetapi juga dapat menasihatiku ketika aku berbuat salah, Seseorang yang mencintaiku bukan karena kecantikanku tapi karena hatiku.
Seorang pria yang dapat menjadi sahabat terbaikku dalam setiap waktu dan situasi,
Seseorang yang dapat membuatku sebagai seorang wanitanya ketika aku di sisinya.

Tuhanku,

Aku tidak meminta seseorang yang sempurna,
Berikanlah seseorang yang tidak sempurna,sehingga aku dapat membuatnya sempurna di mataMu,
Seorang pria yang membutuhkan dukunganku sebagai peneguhnya,
Seorang pria yang membutuhkan doaku untuk kehidupannya,
Seseorang yang membutuhkan senyumku untuk mengatasi kesedihannya,
Sseseorang yang membutuhkan diriku untuk menjadi sempurna…

Tuhanku…

Aku juga meminta, buatlah aku menjadi seorang wanita yang dapat membuatnya bangga, Berikan aku hati yang sungguh mencintaiMu sehingga aku dapat mencintanya dengan sekedar cintaku,
Berikanlah sifat yang lembut sehingga kecantikanku datang dariMu,
Berikanlah aku tangan sehingga aku selalu mampu berdoa untuknya,
Berikanlah aku penglihatan sehingga aku dapat melihat banyak hal baik dan bukan hal buruk dalam dirinya,
Berikanlah aku lisan yang penuh dengan kata-kata bijaksana, mampu memberikan semangat serta mendukungnya setiap saat dan tersenyum untuk dirinya setiap pagi.

Dan bilamana akhirnya kami akan bertemu, aku berharap kami berdua dapat mengatakan, “Betapa Mahabesarnya Engkau karena telah memberikan kepadaku pasangan yang dapat membuat hidupku menjadi sempurna.”

Aku mengetahui bahwa Engkau ingin kami bertemu pada waktu yang tepat dan Engkau akan membuat segala sesuatunya indah pada waktu yang telah Engkau tentukan.

Amin….

(This was taken form my friend's blog, Adelin Dhivi. She also took this writing from somewhere, but she forgot the source =D Actually I want to translate this one too, but in the middle of the process I became lazy to continue it... hahaha. Whoever made this writing, I really thankful to her. And I hope Allah could make this prayer come true to me... Amiin)

A little Heart ache (again) today

Few minutes ago,

I saw something which I don't expect at all ..

That photo.

I really hate it.

Why should he put it in that way?
What does he mean?

Am I just too stupid these days?
Or maybe he's (not the same person as above, of course) right...

I remember the text message which he sent to me couple of days ago...
" I have a feeling you will letting it flow instead control it. Please, stop it. You will regret, I'm warning you...."


Should I stop it now?
Or what?

Where did my baby go?

John Legend isn't my favourite singer.
I just love his phenomenal song, "Ordinary People".
That's my song when I was stress and hectic of university entering examination preparation in 2005. One part of the chorus of the song kept remain in my head at that time:
"We're just ordinary people, we dont know which way to go...."

(Actually the whole meaning of the song didn't relate at all with my situation xp )

In February 2008, when I followed Padjajaran Medical Fair, I sat next to Navy.
He brought his ipod and I wanted to copy his songs from there.
When I scrolled down the list on his iTunes and found songs from John Legend, I asked him to choose the most easy listening and catchy ones.

He picked "Save Room", "Maxine" and "Where did my baby go".

I like the first two, but I stucked at the last song.
I dont know the reason why I like it, it's just....
The mood of this song really hit me every time I hear it.
I could feel the emotion that John Legend tried to say by this song....

I showed this song to my two friends and ask them to hear it.
But they said:
"Oh my god, this song is so pathetic."
"So slow and so sad. Why are you like this song?"

Weeew. Maybe it's better not to tell them -_-"

This morning, I listened again to this song and I searched the lyric.
And here are the part of its:

Where did my baby go?
I wonder where she ran off to
I miss my baby so I'm calling but I can't get through
Please tell that girl if you meet her
That someone's longing to see her
Where did my baby go? I wish that she would get back soon (get back soon)

I'm searching for the lover I knew
Have you seen her? Where did she go?
Feels like I've just lost my only friend
Flames subsided, colors faded
Love just got so complicated
Wish that I could see her smile again
So if you see her out there,
tell her I'm still here
Waiting for the day when she will reappear


After I read it,
I just got more stunned. Really stunned.

No need to tell the reason here.
So don't ask me why.

Justin Hall, who is he?

Ever heard about Justin Hall?

He's the pioneer of all bloggers.
He's the first Web diarists.

It was started when he was 20 years old and still a student in Swathorne college.
He made a homepage of his own and wrote in it about his life,
and the most private sides of him.
He wrote about his father who committed suicide when he was 8 years old, his school friends, even his sexual biography. Phew!

For eleven years, he posted more than 4800 pages in his homepage.
From what I have counted, in my conclusion, he published more than one page everyday for eleven years....

(It's not an entry anymore.It's a PAGE!)

Did he do something useless?
Or maybe some people will comment: "Like there's no other thing to do..."

Everybody could have their opinion about Justin,
But no one can deny the fact that what he did had made a worldwide effect.

Nowadays, millions peoples in the world became a blogger (and the number keep increases every minute...).
Let me say that there are more than two millions of active-users and almost 400 new entries are posted every minute in livejournal website.
It's only one example, dont forget to mention other similar website like blogspot, wordpress, or blog features in friendster, ect, ect.....

I imagined, what if someone suddenly tells to Justin in summer 1994 that what he did at that time will followed by million peoples ten years later?
He probably will say:
"You are crazy...." then he will laugh and shake his head.


I dont admire Justin Hall as a person,
but I've learnt something from him.

If you want to do something,
although it's simple (or better if it's UNIQUE),
but you are focus in it and do it with totality,
you will achieve something BIG from what you do,
or even inspiring others...

Look at Justin,
by made people blogging,
he could inspired many peoples indirectly from those bloggers' writing ;p

One more thing,
Justin is the only person who has reasons to laugh at bloggers albeit the quality of their writings (even the most uplifting one!) and say:
"Others can only follow!"

(translated from my own note which published in facebook two days ago)

Someday I'll know

It's been two days since I've been playing and listening to this song over and over again from my mp4:

Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you

Someday we'll know
Why Samson loved Delilah
One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you

I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
Watched the stars crash in the sea
If I could ask God just one question
Why aren't you here with me tonight?

(Mandy Moore and Jonathan Foreman)

Yah... I hope someday I'll know the answers of the questions that have been wandering in my mind recently,
or the end of "this story" that have been going in my life....
Sometimes I have silly thoughts like what if I could ask God: "God, can I cheat? I really want to peek the ending.Or be a spoiler to my story? Just a little bit. I'm so curious where all this things will lead me into..."

My friend said to me yesterday:
"Some people said that there's no coincidence in life, everything that ever happened to us was meant something and it's already predestined..."

Her words made me remembering quote from one of my favorite movies:
Life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. But rather, its a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan....

Rainy Phase

I live in a country which lies in equator line.
Hahaha.

So I only know the weather in two words:
Sunny
or
Rainny.

That's booriiingggg.

But it resembles cycle of life a little bit,
Life is also either "Sunny" or "Rainy".

Now I'm in "Rainy phase".
Actually I want to have my "lunch outside",
but that "rain drops" are "keep falling" heavily....
So I just sat down and stared to "window" in "my room",
and became a "hunger"

And I'm asking my self,
Why I didn't buy my "lunch" when it's still "sunny"....

Do I regret it?
Kinda.

Serendipity

Serendipity is....

the effect by which one accidentally discovers something fortunate, especially while looking for something else entirely.

Serendipity is...

putting a quarter in the gumball machine and having three pieces come rattling out instead of one—all red.

Serendipity is...

looking in a haystack for a needle and discovering a farmer's daughter.

Serendipity is...

Look for something, find something else, and realize that what you’ve found is more suited to your needs than what you thought you were looking for.

Serendipity is....

when you find things you weren't looking for because finding what you are looking for is so damned difficult.

Hmmm...
I never think it would occurred to me.
Why did it happen?
Was it merely a coincidence or was there something else?


Two thoughts crossed my mind:
Fate is a funny thing and the world is (actually) so small...