Lift yourself up, dear!

Okay, so in this week I'm gonna pass an eyes department (amin!), which is the 12th department of my clinical rotation.

And I have only two more departments to go, (eventhough one of them is surgery dept.).

Did I ever say that I'm already in my saturated point? It's really hard to push up my self to study regularly like before and make me interest to follow the daily routines in clinics :|

But I know, somehow, someday,
I'm gonna miss my clinical rotation.

I'm gonna miss the hospital,
I'm gonna miss the togetherness with my friends,
I'm gonna miss these times when the loads and works still could be shared up,
I'm gonna miss these moments when the responsibilities haven't yet too big to handle.

Well, I know I shouldn't linger around too long in this condition,
I have to learn to lift my self up, no matter how bored I am actually.

Because the road is still a long way (and won't be easier, of course) to go..
Sent from BlackBerry® on 3

The non-existence

You such a chemotherapy. You helped me - in one of the darkest times in my life. But u gave me very unfavorable side effects which I had to endured by my self. And you already left. Totally.

I could only sense your presence in virtual world, and when it happened, I became reminded when you weren't a stranger to me, and it kinda make me sad, because now we already back into the same level before we know each other, stranger. Plus the awkwardness between us, that of course couldn't be broken, unless you want it.

I feel the urge to make you become "the non-existence" for me. Erasing every single trace that could lead me back to reach you.


Sent from BlackBerry® on 3

Deep talk at night shift.

What could be more relieving than a wise friend to listen and talk to you when you really need to get out "mass" that stucks in your head?

Let's say that there are statements in my head recently. It hadn't come out from thinking just about few days, but rather as the result of all the processes which happened to me since years ago.

I'm thinking that If I dont meet someone who really good and like I want, I dont want to be married. Best or nothing. I even become reluctant to open my heart again for someone, when there's no guarantee at all that I wont get hurt again.Here are the situation: I really could handle the loneliness (and who said I'm lonely? I still have my family and friends), even befriend with it. But I can't stand the heart-ache, not anymore. How should I count how many times I got broken? Like Ingrid Michaelson said in her song: "I'm a gallery of broken hearts." Yes, I am. I'm not afraid of being single, I already have many plans about my life and my career in the future.

I never regret any thing I had in the past, I know they happened to me for my goodness and even it look sucks, yes, it's the best thing that could (or should) happened to me. I even want to say thank you to some guys who hurt me, because after that, they could get out from my life. And I really enjoy my balance state now. I'm very happy with my condition now, I feel so grateful for every little things I have, for every love I had from my family and friend. I dont want to disrupt this balance, by having any fake happiness with the risk of being fooled and being disappointed again.

I told all these to my friend.

And she answered it.

We've discussed and discussed. We talked and we listened to each other for hours. And here are the points which I get:

- Allah wont broken His promise. He said clearly that good man only for good woman. Dont ever doubt it. He already determined who's your mate, since when you were in your womb's mother. Somehow, in this world or the next world, you'll gonna meet him/her. He's not perfect, just like you are, but you are perfect for each other. And yes, who are you, could doubt what already written in Quran?
- No, you couldn't set the target when and what age you'll gonna be married (when there's no one yet to make the marriage plan :p), but what you could determine is when you are gonna be ready to be married, mentally :)
- As a woman, what could you do to prepare? Let Allah do the promise. Be good. Be better each day first. And like I said before, prepare yourself. Learn what marriage is, in Islam's point of view. Menikah itu adalah salah satu bentuk ibadah, dan sama seperti ibadah lain, di dalamnya ada hukum dan tata cara lain sebagai panduannya. Learn it! :)
- About my balance state, my friend said that it's actually good. She said that means I already could be happy with my self, not dependent to any one. Here's the logic, How could other person make you happy when even yourself could not make it? Yes, That's one of the form of stability you need mentally before you get married, actually.
- Why? She said to me: "Don't be married with someone because you want to be happy, but instead, married because you want to make his/her happy." When you are married because you want to be happy, let say that you are in minus state. Even worse, what if your partner in the same condition as you? Minus plus minus, what could you get?
- And for last point, I just want to write what she said, not summarize it:
"Setinggi-tinggi nya karir yang dapat dicapai, semua itu tak akan lengkap untuk seorang perempuan, bila dia belum menjadi ibu. Mungkin yang kita lakukan sampai saat ini, belajar, sekolah setinggi-tingginya, bukan untuk karir kita saja, tapi juga untuk meng-upgrade diri kita menjadi ibu dengan kualitas yang baik, agar kita dapat mendidik anak-anak kita sehingga menjadi bagian dari generasi yang lebih baik."
I second that! Me and her were born from the hard-worker and career women, who always busy since we were baby, and when we were child, we saw that our mom left the house in the morning and got home in the night. The ones that cooked our meals mostly are not our mom. But despite the conditions, we feel so lucky to have our mom, our SMART mom, who taught us many things and set us in higher benchmarks than any other kids. We wont be here - we wont be as we are now - if not because of them, who fortunately decide to get married and not just stay focused to their careers.


Okay. I wont "blablabla" anymore, in conclusion, I want to say that our conversation that night had really opened me and changed my mind.

:)

Holiday form

Place: The Woodlands, Texas, USA.

Periode: 20 July - 18 August, 2010.

Comment: I love BEING here. Or more correctly - LIVING here.

Wish: Come back to this country in another time - but not for holiday.

Confession

I've been in denial for all this time.

I have to admit that from all of them,

You're the only one who could leave a hole in my heart with the longest time,

Usually I could heal and fix any damage easily,

but for this one,

even my logic and my pride couldn't overcome it.


I could only stop the bleed for a while,

not closing the wound.

I never knew that missing someone so badly could hurt yourself so much.

Forgiving is Relieving

Ceritanya beda.
Orangnya beda.
Waktunya pun beda.

Yang sama adalah anggapan saya kalau mereka itu baik,
anggapan kalau saya merasa sudah kenal mereka,
anggapan kalau mereka sudah bisa saya percaya,
dan yang paling penting
anggapan bahwa mereka tidak mungkin menyakiti saya.

Tapi kenyataannya saya salah.

pada akhirnya yang sama dari mereka semua adalah,

mereka menyakiti saya - dengan caranya masing-masing.

Semua - anggapan saya di atas itu yang terjadi adalah sebaliknya.

Disakiti dan dikhianati oleh musuh kita memang menyebalkan dan membuat marah,
tapi lain hal ketika yang melakukannya adalah orang yang kita sayang dan percaya.
Sakitnya tak terkatakan.

Tapi itu kemarin,
Apapun yang sudah terjadi dibelakang, saya ingin berusaha memaafkan mereka.
Entah mereka minta maaf atau tidak.
Entah mereka sadar atau tidak.
Entah mereka perduli atau tidak.


Allah Maha Baik,
memberi saya semua pengalaman itu.
Membuat saya tahu banyak hal - termasuk bahwa manusia itu bisa sangat tega - dan sifat manusia itu memang macam-macam.
Membuat saya belajar sabar,
dan mempunyai lahan untuk mempraktekkan arti kata ikhlas ketika saya ingin memaafkan mereka.


Lagipula hanya dengan memaafkan lah saya bisa membuang bara api yang ada di diri dan melapangkan hati menjadi lebih luas.

Cara apply Visa USA - Part 2

Oke, jadi setelah selesai buat appointment, now what?

Yang jelas, siapin dulu dokumen2nya buat dibawa saat interview :)

Dokumen-dokumen yang harus disiapkan:
1. Paspor. (Ya iyalah...) Dokumen identitas lain seperti Akte lahir dan ktp ga akan diminta ko..

2. Confirmation page nya harus diprint dan jangan sampai lupa dibawa. Untuk application form ga harus diprint.

3.Bukti pembayaran fee visa. Tiap tipe visa beda-beda, kalau untuk turis 140 USD. bayarnya hanya di Bank Standard Chartered dan Bank Permata. Sebaiknya di cabang-cabang utama, bilang aja mau bayar fee visa USA, nanti mereka punya formnya sendiri untuk diisi. Bukti pembayaran ada dua, warna hijau dan pink. Jangan lupa bawa dua2nya :)

4. Pas foto sesuai guideline satu buah. Kalau mau jaga2 takut tercecer, boleh lah bawa cadangan..

5. Dokumen lain yang mendukung:
Kalau untuk turis visa, pada prinsipnya mereka hanya akan memberi visa ke orang-orang yang bisa memberi jaminan kalau mereka akan kembali - tidak akan extend untuk cari kerja atau belajar. Misalnya gw, karena masih koas, jadi bawa surat keterangan resmi dari kampus kalau gw mang masih ada masa pendidikan untuk diselesaiin. Atau kalau yang sudah bekerja, minta buat surat ke atasan yang isinya menerangkan kalau sedang kerja disitu dan terikat kontrak misalnya.Terus dokumen yang bisa menerangkan bagaimana dan dimana kita akan tinggal saat disana, dan menjamin kejelasan selama berada di sana. Contohnya gw dapet invitation letter dari tante dan om, disitu ada kalimat kalau mereka menjamin gw tidak akan extend dan tidak akan jadi beban untuk negara. Gitu...

6. Dokumen keterangan mengenai finansial. Ini bisa berupa rekening koran/buku tabungan milik kita atau orang yang membiayai kita pergi. Kalau yang sudah bekerja, biasanya akan ditanya mengenai gaji. Jadi jangan lupa bawa buku tabungan dan lebih bagus struk gaji perbulan.

Kalau semua sudah komplit, jangan lupa datang pada hari appointment sesuai jadwal, jangan telat dan jangan bawa kendaraan pribadi kecuali kalau dianter. Karena tidak akan ada tempat parkir!

Tips untuk hari interview:

1. Sediakan waktu minimal 4-5 jam dari jadwal appointment. Karena akan habis waktu di ngantri, ngantri dan ngantriii. Ada ngantri untuk loket administrasi, ngantri lagi untuk masuk security check dan ngantri untuk masuk interview room. Jadi kalau appointment nya jam 8, jangan bikin janji lain jam 11 ya :D

2. Ga usa bawa elektronik lain selain handphone, nanti setelah lewat security check sebelum interview room, semua elektronik dari charger hp sampe mp3 player pun harus dititip.

3. Di antara security check dan interview room, disediakan air putih gratis, jadi jangan khawatir kalau kehausan. di dalem ruang interview nya juga ada. Lebih baik bawa novel atau majalah, karena akan ada banyak waktu bengooong. Oh ya, jangan bawa makanan!

4. Semua dokumen jangan sampai ada yang ketinggalan atau tercecer di jalan yaaah :) Untuk tiket pesawat, ada baiknya ga usa dibook dulu, mending nanti aja kalau sudah dapat visa. Ga ditanya ko soal tiket...

5. Untuk petugas interview nya, orang asing semua. Mereka bisa bahasa indonesia sih, tapi akan lebih enak kalau pakai bahasa inggris aja sekalian. Tiap applicant pasti beda yang ditanyanya, kalau untuk visa B1 biasanya:
a. Mau ngapain disana?
b. Mau kemana dan tinggal dimana dan berapa lama?
c. Siapa yang biayain semua biaya perjalanan?
d. Siapa yang menanggung cost living selama disana?
e. Sedang bekerja atau tidak? Apa pekerjaan dan berapa gaji perbulan.
(Waktu yang sebelum gw, ada mbak2 yang ga kerja, trus ditanya "kenapa tidak bekerja?" weew...)
f. Kalau misalkan kita menginap di rumah saudara, harus jelas nama, alamat, pekerjaan dan hubungan kita dengan mereka.
g. dan lain-lain semau interviewernya. Oh ya, kalau kita pernah ke luar negeri apalagi ke Eropa dan Aussie, biasanya akan jadi nilai tambah.

Intinya yang mereka mau dari interview:
1. harus bisa menjelaskan rencana perjalanan kita di sana
2. menjelaskan mengenai kepastian finansial
3. harus harus menjamin kalau kita akan kembali ke sini!

Kalau memang diterima, langsung diberitahu saat itu juga oleh interviewer dan kita akan diberi tiket pengambilan paspor sesuai tanggal yang tertera di situ dan jam pengambilannya antara jam setengah 3 sampe setengah 4 sore. Kalau ditolak, ya akan dikasih tau juga dan diperbolehkan kalau mau mencoba lagi lain waktu...

Visa USA memang ribet (dan lebih mahal), tapi sangat worth it, karena berlakunya 5 tahun dan multiple entries! Gw dulu pas nge-apply visa UK cuma berlaku 6 bulan dan single entry, negara-negara lain pun biasanya juga hanya dalam hitungan bulan masa berlakunya.

Jadi persiapkan lah segala sesuatunya dengan baik, kalau ditolak kan sayang 140 USD nya hangus dan ga bisa kembali...

Buat yang mau coba apply, semoga berhasil! :)